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Registered Psychotherapists (CRPO) · Virtual & phone session across Ontario · Free 15-min consultation · Direct billing for select insurance providers ·
SOUND FAMILIAR?
When feelings take over before you can think
It happens in seconds. A comment lands wrong, plans change, someone doesn't respond the way you hoped, and suddenly you're crying, snapping or saying something you'll replay for days. Or maybe it goes the other way: you go quiet and blank, and only later realize how much you were feeling.
Afterwards there's often a familiar mix of regret, embarrassment and "I didn't mean it." Emotional regulation therapy helps you understand what's happening in those moments and build more room between feeling something and acting on it.
HOW IT CAN SHOW UP
How it can show up
Everyone's emotional patterns are different. Some of these may sound familiar.
Feeling flooded
Emotions that rise quickly and feel hard to slow down, and struggling to think clearly once you're upset.
Reacting, then regretting
Saying or sending things in the heat of the moment, then replaying what happened for hours or days.
Mood swings
Moods that shift quickly in response to small events, leaving you and others unsure what's coming.
Shutting down
Going numb, withdrawing or disconnecting when things feel like too much, and struggling to name what you feel.
UNDERSTANDING THE PATTERN
Why this happens
When you're overwhelmed, your brain can shift into survival mode and treat an everyday conflict like a genuine threat. In that state, the part of you that weighs consequences and chooses words carefully goes partly offline. As we explain in Why We Say Things We Regret When We're Upset, regrettable words often come from this kind of emotional hijack, not from poor communication skills.
Stress, lack of sleep and past experiences can all make that shift happen faster. So can early lessons about emotions: some people learned that feelings weren't safe to show, so they held them in until they burst out; others learned to disconnect.
"Wise mind doesn't eliminate emotion or logic; it listens to both."
FROM OUR BLOG · Navigating the Tug-of-War: Balancing Logic and Emotion
UNDERSTANDING REGULATION
What emotional regulation is, and isn't
WHAT IT ISN'T
Suppression
Regulation isn't suppression. It doesn't mean staying calm all the time, swallowing your feelings or pretending you're fine. Pushing emotions down tends to make them come back louder.
Staying calm all the time
Swallowing your feelings
Pretending you're fine
WHAT IT IS
Connection & Choice
Regulation means staying connected to what you feel, while having more choice in how you respond and what you do next.
Feeling your emotions fully
Pausing before you respond
Choosing what you do next
Finding your Wise Mind
In DBT terms, it's finding your Wise Mind: the place where emotions and logic work together.
As we put it in Balancing Logic and Emotion: wise mind doesn't eliminate emotion or logic; it listens to both.
DBT-INFORMED THERAPY
How DBT skills can help
DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) offers practical skills, woven into individual sessions alongside understanding where your patterns come from.
MINDFULNESS
Noticing early
Catching emotions as they start to build, before they peak, and finding your wise mind.
DISTRESS TOLERANCE
Getting through intense moments
Skills for riding out strong feelings without acting in ways that make things worse.
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
Asking for what you need
Expressing needs clearly and respectfully with tools like DEAR MAN, even when emotions run high.
YOUR THERAPIST
Salena Javdan, Registered Psychotherapist
Emotional regulation is one of Salena's main areas of focus, particularly for people who feel flooded by emotion and then regret how they reacted. She uses DBT skills, alongside CBT and compassion-focused work, to help you create more space between feeling and responding.
CBT · DBT · Attachment-informed · Compassion-focused
PRACTICAL DETAILS
Getting started with Atria
Virtual across Ontario
Fees
Individual sessions are $150 for a 50-minute session. Many extended health plans cover psychotherapy with a Registered Psychotherapist; check you plans for details.
Free 15-min consults.
A short, no-pressure call to talk about what's bringing you in, ask questions, and see whether working together feels like a fit.
Not a crisis service
If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8, call 911, or go to your nearest emergency department. See our crisis resources.
FAQ
Frequently asked questions
Virtual Therapy Across Ontario
Providing virtual therapy and counselling services to clients across Ontario, including Toronto, Mississauga, Vaughan, Richmondhill, Markham, Hamilton, London, Kitchener-Waterloo, and surrounding communities.